Dodging the Most Common Relationship Pitfalls
Published: Sunday, August 07, 2011
Avoid hurting your mate — or yourself — by considering the ways relationships can falter.
You Will Need
Step 1: Seek stability
Surround yourself with good, stable friends. Keeping up and socializing with old buddies can help you maintain the critical connection to good advice and needed perspectives.
Before starting a new relationship, make sure you are over your previous one.
Step 2: Discuss sexual problems
Discuss and work on sexual problems rather than ignoring the destruction that can result. Seek to experiment and challenge discomforts rather than let things worsen.
Step 3: Pull back
Pull back and recharge periodically, and don’t be afraid to say no when life is getting confusing or too busy. Have some fun once in a while and turn off the brain.
Step 4: Stop yourself
Stop yourself from rejecting the other person before — as you might fear — they reject you. Learn to accept yourself or your self-doubt and confusion may sink the relationship.
Forgive rather than nurture injured feelings. Sometimes we have to let cherished illusions go.
Step 5: Confront jealousy
Confront jealousy before trust and intimacy are destroyed.
Everyone needs a degree of privacy, including the desire not to share past lives and relationships.
Step 6: Require trust first
Earn trust and require the other to earn theirs before sharing your secrets and declaring feelings of love. Respect yourself and take time to know someone.
Step 7: Model healthy relationships
Model a good, healthy relationship for the children. Keep children away from negative situations, such as a partner if you’re planning on ending the relationship — it will only make matters worse in the end.
In 2008, there were more than 27,000 marriage and family therapists in America.
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