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Too Different to Last?
He's a mechanic and I'm majoring in film and art. He went to trade school and I'm on my way to a four-year degree. He's already trapped in the cycle of bills and rent, while I'm still uninhibited enough by those things that I want to travel more and do exchange programs. My friends and colleagues have expressed concerns that we're in a different class, that I'll get bored of how much "stupider" he is. Even he often says that when I talk to him he has a really hard time keeping up with the conversation. Do you think we'll last?
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rate me
As far as his class, if you are concerned about that and actually allow others as well as yourself to describe this person as stupid because he does not share your interest then he may be better off finding someone who doesnt rate his existance by his occupation.
Being a mechanic may be a trade, but it is a lucrative and complicated profession that requires patience and edurance. That is what you should think about when having such discussions about your lover.
Your film and art degree may make you a conversationalist, but it wont get you home when your car breaks down.
If you love him then be with him, and let your friends be concerned with their own lives.
Posted by:
mgr35704
on 02/27/2010
rate me
What drew you to your guy in the first place? Was it his great smile or his wicked sense of humor? Maybe you both enjoy athletic pursuits or the same music. Or perhaps it is his very "basic-ness" that attracts you. Likewise, maybe he sees you as his key to upward mobility or as his chance to experience college life through you. Or maybe he's happy doing exactly what he's doing, he enjoys your company, and he's perfectly OK with the fact that he will never understand art the way you do.
You say he can't keep up with you in conversation. Are we talking everyday chit-chat, or are you trying to engage him on topics you know he can't relate to? There's a fine line between a basic lack of conversational flow (read: relationship killer) and the need to tweak what you discuss with him vs. what you save for your arts-minded friends.
I think the key is to determine if you feel held back by him. You want to travel or study abroad. Is he OK with this, or does he pooh-pooh it and question why you need to see the Louvre? Do you have an appreciation for the type of work he does, or are you embarrassed when you tell people you're dating a mechanic? If you are able to pursue your interests and educational endeavors with his support, and he with yours, your relationship can thrive. At the end of the day, respect and mutual appreciation carry a lot of weight in relationship success.
That being said, if you find that you really want to live a kind of life the relationship isn't allowing, or if you find yourself feeling like he's an idiot and you can't shake it, you'll have to let your heart (and your intellect!) be your guide. You are young, you have dreams and goals, and at this point in your life, no relationship should stand in the way of that. I wish you the best of luck!
Posted by:
AskSara
on 02/26/2010
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