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Would you date someone who had previously dated one of your friends?

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JELLYBEAN Needs Advice

Posted by jellybean
Posted on Sep 24, 2008
Last updated 6 minutes ago

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Buying a house before marriage & parents disapprove.

I am getting ready to buy a house with my boyfriend of exactly 1 year. My parents expect us to be married first and are a little disappointed that I am going about this all backwards. However, I disagree because I feel times are different now and sometimes you just need to go with what feels right. Anybody ever go through the same situation, and if so, what was your experience?

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First of all I'd like to wish you and your boyfriend good luck in your future together. I can't say that I've been a similar situation, but since you two aren't married yet (or engaged?) you'll maybe want to discuss with a lawyer about what to do safeguard yourself and your investments in the event that you two end up parting ways.

Posted by: aquilon on 10/29/2008

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Can't say that I've ever had the same experience but I've heard some real horror stories. On one hand, I say if you're going to break up, you're going to break up whether you're married or not. The end result is the same -- a horror story trying to split stuff, sell the place, etc. However, in my opinion and in my gut, I believe marriage is the ultimate commitment to another person. It says I want to be with you forever. It doesn't guarantee you will be together forever, but the message is that you intend to be with that person forever. The other stuff; buying a house, having a family, etc. comes after the ultimate commitment to each other. When it's done backwards, you're cheating yourself of knowing if that guy or girl is 100% committed or in other words wants to be with you forever 100%. You should ask yourself why it feels right to do it this way and not the other? Would it not feel right to be married to this person? If that's the case, I can't understand why you're buying a home together, but that's just me. Good luck with whatever you do.

Posted by: raffie08 on 09/25/2008

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Well honestly I must say I agree with your parents. Think it through what could go wrong. I mean 1 year isn't all that long && if you break up down the road what happens to you && the house. I'm thinking about it from a financial point of view, who gets the house, where will you stay && how much money will be wasted. From a personal point of view I think that you shouldn't go with what feels right, sometimes you have to use your brain not just your heart. I honestly think 1 year is too soon && buying a house is a big step in which you need to not only think about use your heart but think about your money.

Posted by: Shonda on 09/25/2008

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