PIGEONTHREEEIGHTONE Needs Advice

Break exactly in one sentence is just too separate... There can be any reason for breakup Bottom line, a break is the beginning of the end. It's a cowards way out, like the fade, the acting like a jerk to get you to do the dirty work, and the email/post it/text/scrabble pieces break up. Why do guys say they want to take a break? Because they know that a soft goodbye is far less likely to cause a big dramatic scene. And guys would rather be tortured Marathon Man style before they'd volunteer to deal with a break up scene. It's really unfair, but as you get older, you'll know when you hear it that he's flat out checking out. How many couples do you know who are back together after he initiated a break? If he valued your relationship, he'd be more interested in keeping you off the market, don't you think? I don't recommend breaks. They are usually really hard to deal with. Often, a person who no longer wishes to continue a relationship will suggest a break to suffice the other persons feelings of rejection. It's not really fair to both people. But, sometimes couples separate in order to try different things with other people in order to know if their feelings for their partner remain the same or change.

If you love someone and want to work through something, breaks usually aren't recommended because a relationship takes effort from both parties. I have heard of breaks helping in situations where couples have had trouble with constant arguing or distrust. They find that once they are apart, they can't stand it and will do anything to make things better. Sometimes, it takes time to clear your head and realize how important or unimportant people are in your life.

So, breaks aren't always about having your cake and everyone elses. Sometimes, they're about finding yourself and getting your head around a situation that is negatively impacting your life and affecting your day to day decisions or long time goals. You don't have to date other people or lead your partner on. Some will, but it is what it is and you can't stop others from doing what they feel is right for them. If you love this person and know that he/she wants to work on him/her self and isn't interested in finding other people to hook up with, then you should let him/her. He/she will probably be a better person when he/she comes back to you and so will you because you both have had time apart from each other and are thankful for the stronger side of love that brought you back together. A break in a relationship is used to take time away from each other to ponder where the relationship is headed, and whether or not you are right for one another. A break is not when you see each other inconsistently, where one or both of you are "experimenting" with other partners to see if what you have at home is the right brand for you.

A good rule in accepting or rejecting a break is making terms prior to separating. The terms should be discussed and agreed upon prior to the separation. If you are not comfortable with any terms proposed by your partner, do not agree to it. The whole idea of a break accounts for the possibility you are going to get back together. Therefore, you need to be comfortable with whatever terms you agree upon. If you are not Discomfort will change to resentment towards your partner if you re-engage with him/her.

A break can turn into a prolonged break up. This is why you should discuss how long you plan to be on a break. Do not settle for "how could I know that." Ask for at least a check point where the two of you discuss where you're at. A month is a decent amount of time to allow for a check point. You can always agree to more time, but the limit will help you to not waste too much time on something that just isn't going to work.

During a break some people do choose to allow each other to date others, and even partake in sexual activity. Again, think this through before agreeing to it. It's one thing if your partner sleeps with someone and you never know the person or it was pre-your relationship. It's another when you find out that your partner slept with a mutual friend during a break where he/she was supposedly spending quality time figuring out if your relationship with him/her was worth continuing.

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