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Posted by anonymous
Posted on Oct 28, 2008
Last updated 6 minutes ago
Posted on Oct 28, 2008
Last updated 6 minutes ago
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What can I do to make him see that his spending habits are a problem?
My husband and I have been married for just over a year. We are trying to save money to make improvements to our home and we're trying to have a baby, but saving money is hard with this economy. I am cutting back wherever possible but my husband seems to still be spending money on frivolous things. We have been talking/fighting about money a lot lately but I don't seem to be getting through to him that his spending habits need to change or else we won't have the money for the baby and our home. What can I do to make him see this is a problem?
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Lets break this down little by little....something I am good at doing (when it's not a problem of my own).
1.CONGRATULATIONS to you and your husband! I have heard it said that the first year can be one of the most difficult to get thru.
~Now from experience I would have to agree, I consider myself somewhat of an expert (as I am on my 3rd marriage and nearly everyone I know has been married before). Now that being said; I have 3 years of "first year of marriage" (for the first time in 3 attempts)I will celebrate our 5th anniversary, and I actually still like him.~
This is the year that you get to know this person with accountability, responsibility and a emotionally, physically and financially sharing ownnership of actions and consequences as one. Good Job!
2. Try to see one task at a time. First focus on home improvements that will benefit the (coming) "family", make a prioritized list and put your house money into the list.
3. You are trying to have a baby....again congratulations, you are married after your first year and have the choice of trying to get pregnant.
4. Save and spend the "house" money for the house until you are pregnant. Don't put pressure on saving money for the new baby it will come together.
~Don't get me wrong, they aren't cheap and mine is 3-1/2 and I have not been working since he was born.~
5. No matter the number of marital bliss the most common topics of couples heated discussions are money, kids and sex- hang in there.
6. We all need "frivolous things money" in our budget. You both work on a budget and agree upon a dollar amount of "Mad MONEY" each of you get in a month. Save it, spend it, give it away...it's your money. ~helps to relieves resentment or conflict....note *BUDGET* was mentioned.~
7. As tedious as it may be, keep a list of dollars spent, date and where to see where your money goes for a month. ~Seeing is believing and makes it more real~ See if you can find simple cuts that will help you save.
8. Once you are pregnant, we can assume you will have at least one shower where you will receive gifts that help out tremendously with the majority of the new addition's needs.
~My money savings tip once you find out your expecting: with each trip to the grocery store buy a box of diapers and tape the receipt to box in case of exchanges. Start with your swaddlers/infants and go up, you can count on 5 diapers/day. If you need formula you won't buy that until he/she is here but diapers are a guarenteed necessity. I didn't buy diapers for the first 6 months and it made the baby budget transition a little more smooth.~
You are working towards the same goal, just find the right plan to fit both of you.
Posted by:
TXJunebug
on 11/24/2008
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He might not hear you when you talk, but he will have to see it.
Whatever you do, stop fighting about it. That can only make the problem worse. The only way you two can get on the same page is to talk about it calmly.
Calling his spending "frivolous" is to tell him that his needs and wants mean nothing to you. Is that the message you want to give him? Is your happiness in the future more important to you than his happiness is right now?
Fighting about money is not a requirement. Unless you refuse to talk about it.
Posted by:
PsychoMagnet
on 10/29/2008
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