Relationship Problems?
Home » Top Lists » Top 5: Reasons Why Guys Play Hard to Get
GetOnTheCouch Book
GetOnTheCouch: Relationship Advice for Everyday People
Buy From
Top 5: Reasons Why Guys Play Hard to Get
Published: Thursday, March 24, 2011
Top 5: Reasons Why Guys Play Hard to Get
Hello. For this list, we've decided to explore and analyze that age-old dating ritual, "playing hard to get." Although this has been popularized in sitcoms and romantic comedies for decades, we are here to say that "playing hard to get" may be a bit past its prime. This is a new age, an "on demand" age in which a populace ever-increasing in its eclecticism want what they want when they want it. With that in mind, we are not only calling for the eradication, or at least a moratorium on the act of "playing hard to get" for the following reasons.

Boredom. Guys like sex. Sex is exciting--probably the most exciting thing they think about.
So, when they are not getting it, they may want to move on to another opportunity. The excitement of the chase, or the possibility of getting a strongly desired woman in bed, can wane substantially when pay-off is delayed too long. Men get bored of the chase, per se, and want only the finish line. If there is a closer finish line along another track, they may veer.

Plenty of Fish.
The first point strongly implies this point, but we thought we'd spell it out, anyway. There are other women out there willing to play "less" hard to get. If you string a man along for too long, he is bound to find somebody for him his endurance need not be depleted (unless it's in the very act of sex). Unless the ratio of men to women in your environment is ten to one, playing hard to get will leave you "not-gotten." Don't sigh as your gentleman pursuant catches scent of another more available prospect; you're not the only bachelorette out there.

Forced Celibacy.
Now, it may be known that playing hard to get is a social enactment of a chastity that must be, well, breached. However, if you keep up with the chase, and consistently run faster than he does, you may find that chastity a bit heavy and undesirable: oppression as celibacy. Don't sacrifice fun and satisfaction for a worn out ritual. If Sex and the City has only taught us one thing, it's that women as well as men have an inalienable right to hooking up. Embrace your natural right to life, liberty and the pursuit of nookie.

This one is simple. If the guys think that your heart, mind and body are fenced off by an impenetrable fortress, they won't waste their energy, especially when, among the plenty of fish out there, they are sexual beings who hate sexual boredom and stagnation as much as they do. Beware of playing hard to get too much. Before you know, it will be too late to change your mind and you'll be known as "Mission Impossible."

Preoccupation with the chase.
Lastly, and, in our opinions, most importantly, don't get consumed by the chase. Too many women are so into making guys chase them, that they are missing out on really getting to know and connecting with those guys. Always teasing can often equal always shutting him off. We're not saying put out to every guy that talks to you, but don't run so fast for so long. Be strong, be trustful and open up (no pun intended).

Let these tips be about having fun, not about being easy. Easy, as we all know, comes with its own myriad of issues. We are just saying loosen up and let him catch you every once in a while. Or, rather, let him fall into your trap and get him right where you want him--you'll often find that it's exactly where you both want to be.

Why do you think men play hard to get?
Add a Comment
You must be signed in to add a comment. Click here to sign in.
Readers Respond
» No comments yet
Share this story
About The Author
by Wally
Wally Green is a young urban professional living in Northern New Jersey. His interests in love and romance go far beyond his own love life. He enjoys philosophers and novelists who broach the subject and his critiques and observations of these authors give him the confidence to share his own observations about love. Fortunately, the good people at like what he has to say.
Weekly Poll
Would you date someone who had previously dated one of your friends?

Yes! I'm perfectly happy to date my friend's exes. They're exes for a reason.
No! It's too incestuous. I don't feel comfortable dating a friend's ex.
Maybe Yes: I haven't had the opportunity, but I don't see a problem with it.
Maybe No: I haven't done it, but I don't think I would.
View Poll Results
Join GetOnTheCouch     HOME    TOP